


Edge of Time

by 312LTY (zaynsuniverse)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Coming Out, M/M, Reflection, but not tagged as toxic relationship, open taeyong makes closet jaehyun realize they should just be gay together!!!, smut as eighteen year olds, they make each other jealous without realizing it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2019-07-07 11:06:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15907041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zaynsuniverse/pseuds/312LTY
Summary: Four times Jaehyun conceals his relationship with Taeyong, and the one time they're exclusive.





	Edge of Time

There’s nothing particularly different. 

Taeyong feels identical to the way he fell asleep. Perhaps change does not come overnight. He’s finally legal in the states, but until he does something avant-garde — something that he should be doing as an eighteen year old — he’ll still remain feeling like a seven year old.

Another thing that remains definitely as same as ever, just as every other birthday he’s had the last three years, is his phone chiming off his nightstand. He smiles lazily to his pillow before launching his arm off the edge of his bed to obtain his phone. Already grinning like a lovesick cupid, he answers without looking at the incoming caller.

“Hi, baby! Happy, happy birthday to my most favorite person ever!” Jaehyun piercingly singsongs. He can hear the following giggles and clapping, with what Taeyong assumes is his hands against his stomach or something because it doesn’t really sound like two palms making the sound.

“Are you holding the phone?” Taeyong asks softy.

Jaehyun scoffs from the other side playfully, “That’s how you want to start off your day. Uhuh, I see. Well, what are you wearing?”

“What?” Taeyong splutters. He clears his throat and rolls on his back to face the ceiling. “I was just wondering why your clapping sounded weird.”

“Oh, I am actually driving.”

“Jaehyun!” Taeyong shouts. He is a valuable member of the whole safety committee, which is why he threatens, “I am hanging up!”

The line goes dead silent and Taeyong shivers. He sits up and stares at the phone before hastily questioning Jaehyun, “Hello? Are you there?”

“Hmm, what did you say? I thought you were going to hang up.”

“Oh, shut up.” There’s no response. “Jaehyunnie?”

“Yeah?”

“Answer me!”

“I do as told. You told me to shut up. And anyways, aren’t you supposed to hang up?”

“Jaehyun.” Taeyong growls with a pout. Though, Jaehyun has never found him all that intimidating anyways. He used to purposely bite Jaehyun’s collarbone in the privacy of Taeyong’s bedroom whenever he wanted to address a serious topic that they couldn’t discuss in public. Jaehyun always saw Taeyong more as a cute puppy playing tug-o-war than a guard dog wanting to show aggression.

Only hearing Jaehyun giggle a little, Taeyong gets off his bed, despising the way the sunlight is shining in his direction now.

“Come downstairs when you’re ready!”

“Jae—” The line disconnects to Taeyong’s dismay.

Taeyong tosses his phone on the bed before plopping right back on it. He clutches his pillow to his chest and pretends it doesn’t hurt to smile so hugely.

After his giddy, exhilarating dance, he gets ready. He doesn’t know what to expect, but he listens to Jaehyun anyways, doing the bare minimal face routine — tap water — and brushing his teeth. He anticipates highly because in the past, Jaehyun had always been way above his expectations as a friend. Freshman year, Jaehyun had a gift basket of different sweets. The second year they were friends, on Taeyong’s birthday he received a pair of socks, where Jaehyun shouted —  _ we’re going to that new indoor trampoline place! _ Last year is Taeyong’s most absolute favorite surprise. Jaehyun crawled into his bedroom with a disk that titled, “playlist to my feelings.”

Now there’s more to expect. Jaehyun will keep doing better and better every year. Because not only is it his birthday, but it’s their so-called anniversary.

Taeyong isn’t dumb. He looks out of his bedroom window, seeing Jaehyun’s car parked alongside the mailbox with himself leaning against the hood of his car. It’s just he and his body, no gifts. Maybe he shouldn’t have expectations.

He follows the flow of the staircase and opens the door right away to chide his boyfriend who plays too much, “Jaehyun, it’s not funny when you—”

Taeyong falls over like a delicate feather, his back hitting the carpet ground. Good thing there  _ is _ a fluffy carpet to cater as support. Meanwhile Taeyong is the most fragile thing on earth, Jaehyun is a koala, bracketing his hips with his legs and wrapping his arms around Taeyong’s neck. He shouts in his ear, too loud and too early for the morning, “Happy birthday! I love you so much!”

He attacks Taeyong with kisses in every which direction, puckering his lips exaggeratedly, aiming at any visible skin he can latch on. He breaths against Taeyong’s neck, “Let’s do great things today, okay?”

“Hmm, tell me.” Taeyong says, cupping his cheeks and squeezing them.

Jaehyun rolls off Taeyong with one kiss to his lips that makes Taeyong dizzy. He fishes his wallet out before embracing Taeyong in his arms. Feeling  _ oh, so cozy _ , Taeyong sees Jaehyun’s wallet chucked into his palms. And even more cozier when Jaehyun holds him tighter from behind with his chin resting on his shoulder. “Open up.”

“Why do you find it necessary to choose the best activities?” Taeyong coos, turning around and pinching Jaehyun’s ear. “I said we can just go eat or even stay here and watch some movies!”

“What, you don’t want them?” Jaehyun gasps, slapping Taeyong’s hand that continues to pull at him.

Taeyong brings the two platinum tickets to his chest, holding them close to himself. “Of course, I do, babe. Let me get properly ready!”

“Well, I want to be there all day so I hope you’ll do it fast.”

“As long as you don’t come up, I will be able to.”

The summer weather plays an influential role in Taeyong’s outfit decisions today. It’s sunnier than usual and he figures mother nature wants to be extra nice to him on his birthday. He sports his tightest black jeans with the numerous slashes and a casual, but ostentatious looking velvet top because he wants to dress a little special today. And he’s more of a hat person than sunglasses, so that’s an accessory along with several necklaces.

Walking down the stairs to see Jaehyun standing at the bottom of the rail with his hands folded in front of him bring Taeyong to a state of lustful imagination. He revels in the thought of attending prom, flaunting off Jaehyun with his chiseling features, body fitted in a posh suit. And his arm linking to Jaehyun’s as they gain the heavy attention many pairs of eyes with an illuminous spotlight in their direction.

Taeyong’s visual trance disperses the moment Jaehyun hurries to him and kisses his cheek just before guiding him down the rest of the way. He feels warm inside. When doesn’t he? Whenever he’s with Jaehyun, he’s always his happiest. He tries his best to be thankful that Jaehyun interrupted his daydream, or else he’d be thinking of such things out of reach.

Their drive consists of everything typical. They welcome the sun and warm breeze. Windows all rolled down with Jaehyun’s system booming, though their voices drown out the music, high pitchy singing becoming what echoes out stronger in the confined space.

Jaehyun tells him he loves him before they exit the car. Taeyong knows what it means.

They walk too close for Taeyong’s comfort because everytime their fingers brush against one another’s, he just wants to intertwine their fingers. And when their shoulders meet, he wants to drop his head against it. His scent is strong and attracts Taeyong towards him but he isn’t allowed to drop his head into the crook of Jaehyun’s neck to relish in the warmth and comfort.

Jaehyun’s laughter could be heard whenever Taeyong mentions something about the animations and ornaments throughout the amusement park. He wants to hear it against his ears. Jaehyun’s sparkle in his expression is more striking, more beautiful than anything Taeyong can eyes can land on, and it makes him jealous because that look belongs to him. Not the high, vibrant constructions of rides nor the tropical themed decorations bestowing the vicinity.

“Thank you for taking me here.” Taeyong says whilst in line for some ride that Jaehyun convinced him to go to.

“I’d do anything for you.”

Taeyong giggles, heart feeling warm. He responds with a teasing tone, “Apparently I do anything for you. I hate spinning rides.”

The only reason why Taeyong is even going on this is because when it twirls clockwise and what not, his body will fall onto Jaehyun’s. It’ll happen for a good two minutes, so if he gets Jaehyun close to him in public as an incentive, he’ll endure the stomachache that’ll follow. Plus, Jaehyun bribed him with a sweet treat by the end of the day. Whatever that may be, Jaehyun never disappoints.

There’s never any awkwardness, never was ever since them meeting at fifteen during a summer ice cream sale. Sometimes Taeyong still finds it amusing that someone like Jaehyun actually seeked out to get some bogo matcha frozen dairy dessert. Before Jaehyun, Taeyong always saw rich people as those people who only wore white and owned seven cars and never pet their dogs. These days, Jaehyun is paying for his own car that is mid class and three dogs that always lick Taeyong’s nose.

In line, Taeyong doesn’t have any awkward feelings, he is just urging to come up with a conversation. The air is light and Jaehyun’s hand is gripping the silver gate, practically having his arm around Taeyong’s back. He desperately wants to talk but he’s quite clueless at the moment because Jaehyun is too drawn eating his nachos while observing the spinning construction.

“So, ready for our last year?” Taeyong asks, seeming relevant because its their last summer together as high schoolers anyways and the memories of when they met make him think of how he’s spent so many years with Jaehyun.

“Another year with you? More ready than ever.” Jaehyun grins and quickly brings Taeyong to a one armed hug.

It’s an advance.

When they get into a cart, he shouldn’t find it surprising but he does anyways when Jaehyun opens the tiny gate for him and lets him in, soon following. It shouldn’t be a surprise. Jaehyun is never that repulsed, yet Taeyong’s heart beats against his chest like a drum igniting sound waves surging around inside him.

Taeyong’s too close to Jaehyun that he just might suffocate. It’s way too much in public and he wants to cry from excitement. His head on Jaehyun’s shoulder like he wished, and their shoulders pressing close as he craved, he finds more adrenaline in that than the ride itself. Their fingers are even intertwined deep under the hood of the cart. Taeyong won’t think about how fast the ride is going and how dim this spot is, as an excuse of Jaehyun’s actions.

Several rides later don’t go the same way as much because they’re roller coasters and Jaehyun dared him to keep his hands up. And everytime Taeyong tempted to reach Jaehyun’s hand, it would be up and riling in the air. He can’t really do that.

When they eat together, they have a full meal as Jaehyun starts off discussing the rest of the day. Taeyong’s heart swells at the thought of sitting right across Jaehyun, eating. With men and women and children, guests and tourists and staff, surrounding them in one setting. He feels exposed. He’s always liked attention. With he and Jaehyun together, he feeds off it even more.

“Did you hear me?”

Taeyong blinks two times. “Huh?”

Jaehyun smirks and Taeyong mostly admires the crescent shapes of his eyes when he does  _ this _ smile. “What are you thinking about?”

“You.”

“Okay, exceptional.”

Taeyong taps his foot against Jaehyun’s ankle softly, their own code.

“The ferris wheel thing. We’ll go on that. I’ll get us some sweets so you can watch me win you a prize, then I have more events tonight.” Jaehyun leans back against the booth, lounging with his chin tilting up and Taeyong can only imagine how spread his legs are from beneath the table.

“What do you mean by events tonight?” Taeyong plays with his fingers, curious and confusion playing in his mind.  _ What more could his boyfriend give him? _

Jaehyun shakes his head with a grin and returns back to eating his food. Taeyong smiles in content, anticipating everything else today as half the day has passed and there’s still so much more to do with him.

Sure, Taeyong loves attention but he didn’t think Jaehyun would call a waitress over and announce that it’s a very special person’s birthday. He gets a cake delivered to their table with a lit candle and a handful of staff cheering and singing him a birthday melody, a personalized one from the restaurant.

“It has ice cream on top.” Jaehyun mentions, forking at the ice cream and making a balance to indulge with the chocolate cake.

“That’s your type of thing anyways.” Taeyong doesn’t know if he’s happy because they’re eating one square of cake together or because of Jaehyun’s jolly grin when it comes to ice cream and its nostalgic references.

Jaehyun ends up scooping all of the ice cream to one side of the plate, making mumbles going on about how sensitive Taeyong’s teeth are. He even whispers, “But you’re still so cute.”

As soon as they finish dessert, Jaehyun ushers Taeyong out with a push to his back, looking more friendly than anything but at least Taeyong feels him once again. He races towards the ferris wheel while leaving Taeyong behind, giving him no choice but to chase after Jaehyun.

The pods are not as large as they seemed from the distance. It feels as if it was intentionally built for two lovers. He and Jaehyun manage to claim one right away and as soon as they get in, Taeyong already trips over the metal beneath the entrance gate, causing him to fall over onto Jaehyun. Both of them cough it off and act as if nothing happened while their attendant securely adjusts their belts and secures the glass door.

It’s beautiful right now, the color of the construction and how it flashes consistently, he can only imagine how this would look at night. Even the view of the sky is a perfect site to adore, again, the night would just make it a world away more beautiful.

To think about beautiful, he gives a good look at his person in front of him. He’s happy today and more in love than ever.

Feeling dauntless, Taeyong leans towards Jaehyun and gradually inches his hand towards Jaehyun’s cheek. He feels Jaehyun flinch underneath his touch as if lava was seeping into his skin, it makes his hand and cheeks radiate a terrible, burning sensation. They’ve both been burned for different reasons. His head ducks down shamefully with his two hands in his lap.

“Taeyong.” Jaehyun says firmly. “I’m still not ready.”

“That’s fine. It’s perfectly okay. But we are in a sealed pod. Who’s going to get a telescope and creep on us?” Taeyong laughs, stomach churning with mix emotions. He’s feeling  _ okay _ , he thinks it’s funny for Jaehyun to be delusional like this. In another sense, he can’t help but feel hurt and a little humiliated from rejection.

Peering up from his lashes, he sees Jaehyun crossing his arms and looking through the glass. He has everything Taeyong could venture in. His whole presence is beyond perfect as he just sits there aimlessly. His lips are purses out and the knit of his eyebrows make him seem more intimidating as he comes off blatantly. He lands between looking like that sometimes, and yet having a cherub looking face. But his expression right now scares him. He thinks he hit a sensitive spot with Jaehyun and now there’s tension. He doesn’t mean to be a disappointment.

“I’m sorry for being such a bother. You could drop me off after this.” Taeyong speaks whole heartily. He isn’t trying to make Jaehyun feel bad, nor is he coaxing him into anything he did want earlier. He just feels pushy and completely apologizes for his behavior.

Taeyong looks through the same transparent glass that Jaehyun had. They’re seeing the same thing but don’t have the same views.

That’s their biggest barrier, but Taeyong tells himself to stick around and it’ll all be worth it after they overcome it together. It’s Jaehyun’s biggest fear, but Taeyong would never let him do it alone. And if he feels that he’s pulling him into a boundary breaking zone, he’d hold his hand tight and make sure neither of them cross it. Every time they’re together, Taeyong feels like he’s breaking his promise of waiting for Jaehyun.

“We haven't eaten cake yet.” Jaehyun mumbles with a one sided grin.

And that’s how their heavy air usually dissolves. Jaehyun just has to say something that Taeyong would love.

Taeyong raises his hand in the air, expecting a high five which he receives from a genuinely smiling Jaehyun. He can’t have everything in the world but at least his hand touched Jaehyun’s.

All lovely things come to an end. In the midst of them advancing towards their next event, a scheduled performance, the lunatics — as Taeyong likes to call them — make their infamous appearance.

“Jaehyun!”

“Woah. It’s the neighbors.” Jaehyun responds with a bright smile. Upon Taeyong’s eyeroll, Jaehyun nudges his boyfriend with a breathy comment, “The good ones!”

“Hey… Hansol. Johnny. Yuta.” Taeyong greets, long pauses in between that makes Jaehyun tense by his side.

They aren’t terrible people. It’s just that Jaehyun turns completely different around them. They’re his friends but Taeyong can’t help but feel as if they treat Jaehyun as a puppet. He’s addressed this problem before, albeit Jaehyun still fails to acknowledge the way his pantry is always raided with every one of their visits and how he’s refilling up gas tanks constantly. He doesn’t see how their influence is negative, taking Jaehyun to a lousy club once just because they paid the bouncer, pressuring him into hits in which Taeyong always has to tend to his delusions. Jaehyun doesn’t realize that they take him away from —

“You’re like the best there is, the idolized dancer from that public school, huh?” The dark haired Hansol says — which he’s quite sure is Yuta, the one he hates most.

“Maybe. Is that what they call me?” Taeyong says with bitterness despite the obvious kind words. Though it also felt unnecessary to mention  _ public _ , as if Yuta’s words felt as if he was being frowned upon.

Johnny gives him a hurried thumbs up and insists, “You should come to our scheduled gatherings sometimes. The dance group were in makes the school a little more bearable. We’re not… you know the reputation. We’d love to see you.”

“Oh. Thank you for the offer.” Taeyong responds just to be nice.

Jaehyun steps in between Johnny and Taeyong and puts a hand on his taller friend’s shoulder. “Okay, well he’s gotta be going soon.”

“Even better.” Yuta cheers, recovering quickly when he sees the confusion playing on Taeyong’s face, “Not that you’re leaving is a good thing. But I mean, kinda— Jaehyun! Come with us. We need another person so it’s even on the cart. Fuck with us.”

“But—”

Taeyong shakes his head, resisting the urge to place his hand on Jaehyun’s hip. He assures wholeheartedly, “Don’t let me stop you. Hang out with them.”

“Yeah… Okay.”

The three lunatics haul Jaehyun to the opposite direction and exclaim their departure to Taeyong. And like that, Jaehyun leaves without turning around to give Taeyong one last glance.

Taeyong feels deserted despite how he allowed Jaehyun to go, he practically pushed him at the others. He didn’t ask if he could go, he didn’t make up any excuses for Jaehyun to stay. It’s his fault. Jaehyun did try to get out of it. Now he’s walking around an amusement park, alone. He doesn’t really have any promising good friends like he did at the beginning of high school. Jaehyun and Taeyong just became each other’s only by the last season and considered others as merely their classmates. They can’t bother to find bonds with others. Though, Taeyong should speak for himself because lately Jaehyun has gained a real liking to those boys over the summer. Maybe he should find some friends but also, what’s the point, it’s his last year before he’s off and transitioning into the real world. He’ll have time to make friends then. For now, he only needs Jaehyun and his fellow dance acquaintances.

Taeyong purchases cotton candy for himself and asks if there’s any discount while it’s his birthday. He gets a free choice of slushee, buying Jaehyun’s favorite — blueberry.

His lips stain blue as his drinks it, he can feel cavities forming from letting the cotton candy melt in his mouth. He feels happy sauntering on his own, and admiring the sun and its colorful sky fade over all the amusement features like the stages and the rides and the happy guests. He gets to see things in the world that he’s never noticed before, because he only ever saw Jaehyun.

Abandonment isn’t so terrible after all. He thinks he could live without Jaehyun for a second. Attachment is something he’s overcome today.

**Author's Note:**

> i had this going on and off since september and now finally its here! ive never seen a *blank times* jaeyong fic so i wanted to do this little thing right here. enjoy the journey!


End file.
